some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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