Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
