wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
