I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do vagina's smell?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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