Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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