Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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