why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
