his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
