I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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