What did we do last night that was yellow?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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