Michael Bay diarrhea
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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