...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
