i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
