Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
