Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
