would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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