I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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