My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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