There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
