she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
