I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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