I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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