So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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