he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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