I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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