Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
