so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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