You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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