I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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