she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
