Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
