I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
