$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
