I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
