I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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