I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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