We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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