I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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