Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
