awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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