Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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