Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
