Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize