She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
