I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
