Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
