She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
