You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
