you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
wow bdsm is so cute
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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