i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize