I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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