the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
