Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
