Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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