I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
