Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
