Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
