Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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