suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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