I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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