It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
